DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Everything Else... Poster's Challenge Game

You're at a posh dinner party/event reception.

Tons of people from different walks of life are in attendance. Libations are flowing, faces are glowing, open conversation's ongoing. But you're in a salty, mischievous mood. You find yourself in a conversation, and someone asks, "what do you do for living?"

The challenge: Poorly describe what you do for a living in one sentence.


Your answer begins, "I get paid to..."


I already know what my answer would be, but I'm much more interested in hearing from the rest of you. I'll drop my submission in later.


3...2...1... submit.

I get paid to .... do too much work for the biggest boss ever.

I formerly aided people’s deaths.
Currently, I make stuff out of other stuff.

I make drinking water from crap. And proud of it.

I get paid to prove to people why they have to pay money to the folks they owe it to.

I get paid to work…sort of.

I get paid by selling stuff for more than I paid for it.

I get paid to watch bad people

When I was still drinking:
" I get paid to keep my mind afloat."

Now-a-Days:
"I get paid to last until retirement".

I get paid to be Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound!

At 16 years old I got a job washing dishes after people ate. Didn't care for that.......

At roughly 16.5 years of age I got a job trimming, washing and stacking fruits and vegetables for consumer purchase and consumption.

At roughly 22 years of age as an "Assistant Produce Manager" I assisted the produce manager on all aspects of the operation.

At roughly 25, 26 years of age I became a "Produce Department" manager directly responsible for all aspects of the Produce department.

At roughly 30-32 years of age I became a "Produce Department supervisor/specialist, directly responsible for roughly 12-ish produce departments operations.

At roughly 40 years old I became an "asst store manager", assisting the General Store Manager on all aspects of the business.

At roughly 45 years of age I assisted myself as I became a "General Store Manager" only answering to the "higher ups" at Corp headquarters.

I get paid to make noise by dragging a horse's azz hairs across stretched sheep's intestines.

i make chicken salad out of chicken [censored]

I write stuff -about almost anything really - and take pictures of old folks, kids and adults playing sports, houses burning to the ground, old folks working at soup kitchens, ladling soup, and occasionally interview semi-famous people: three Canadian prime ministers and about a dozen hockey hall of famers, a couple of them legendary, and people who aren’t famous but have interesting stories of their own to tell.

It’s a good thing I can string a few sentences together because it’s the only thing that I do well enough that people will give me money to do it.

I have gotten paid for making toilets, scabbing in a brass foundry, teaching, gardening, tending bar, writing, bar DJ, and landscaping to name a few. Then I retired, and I found out that I could get paid for that.

Since then, being retired is what I have done best, it pays well enough, and I have decided to stick with it, thanks for asking.

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