DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Everything Else... Son Of Goofy

This morning I lucked out and was able to buy two boxes of ammo cheap.

I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. Stopped at a gas station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump.

She glanced at the two boxes of ammo, bent over and leaned in my passenger window, and said in a sexy voice
"I'm a big believer in barter, old fella. Would you be interested in trading S.E.X. for ammo?"

I thought for a few seconds and asked,
"What kind of ammo 'ya got?"

groooooooan....

j/c

I saw a better version on facebook, but couldn't find a good link. So, here's this:

Yes, that's the one. I saw it on face book. If I link to a video I see on facebook, does that open MY facebook account to anyone and everyone?

I'm thinking he copied and pasted the joke, but only part of it posted. (?)

j/c

Not as titilating as it used to be.

j/c:

I love this:

No. "Rockstar" Nickleback!

Homeschool marching band.

Making a Cosco run with the neighbors.

Hey, HEy, HEY I don't see social distancing. That's scary.

Happy Easter

GM would hit that.

#backbooty

Again

lol. It snowed a little here today, which up here isn’t that unusual this time of year, but we are still wearing winter jackets most days. Been a cool spring.

That's hilarious.

'Father Of The Year' finalist.

A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a Gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.

'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.'

They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by drinks. They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.

After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!

'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'

"No," she replies."You just happened to catch my eye."

My wife loved it.

On a blustery wintery morning the Sesame Street Bus made it's rounds picking up gradeschool children. The 1st stop/pick up of the day was two young, overweight( one might say "Obese") girls that were best friends and also both named Patty. The 2nd stop was a young special needs boy named Ross. The third stop of the day was another young boy named Lester. The 4th stop, the 5th stop, etc, etc, etc.

During the ride to school on this wintery day, Lester, who had a bad case of bunions on his feet, took of a shoe and started picking at them. Nothin outta the ordinary. Also, since he hadn't finished his homework he was also copying someone else's math answers. Nothin outta the ordinary there either.

Suddenly, whilst rounding a curve, the bus hit a patch of ice and started sliding. Didn't make it. Off the road and landed on it's side. Everyone was safe except for a few minor bumps and bruises.

During the aftermath police asked questions too all on what happened. Most, if not all were saying "I didn't see anything".

The last interview was a young boy named Johnny.

Cop: "Johnny(who was shaken up at the time), did you see what happened"?

And yes, you can sing it.......

Johnny: "All I saw was 2 obese Patties special Ross Lester cheatin pickin bunions on a Sesame Street Bus".

grooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooan.....

If they sent people to the firing squad for bad jokes ..... you'd be in need of a blindfold.

Just stay away from Big Birds nuggets.

This got a chuckle out of me yesterday evening when I was trying to finish up the lawn before it started raining.

Guy across the street was out in the front of his house with his two boys (pre-teen, early-teen aged sons). They were running up and down the street w/o stopping. I saw them say something to him as they were passing him during their run, and he yelled (in a very annoyed voice) "You'll stop running when I say you can stop!"

One of the impacts of COVID, like economic depression, unemployment, mental health, etc... that isn't getting talked about like those is the effect of parents having to be around their kids day-in, day-out. :-p