Interestingly, I've had my daughter helping me with work recently. It's a win win win win situation.
She helps, I win. She gets paid. She wins. She gets out of the house, which is a win for her. And, she's finding out what dad REALLY does for a living. She's actually gained a bit of appreciation, which is a win.
A lady went to her local grocery store the day before Thanksgiving to pick up her fresh Long Island Duck she ordered. She always serves Long Island Duck on Thanksgiving. It was family tradition.
She approached the service counter and asked for her fresh Long Island Duck order which was quickly retrieved. She thanked the Meat Manager but wanted to see if it was "fresh". The Meat Manager was then "stunned" to see her insert, after unwrapping the duck, her index finger into the ducks "behind". She immediately became irate and in a loud, angry voice told the Meat Manager, "THIS ISN'T A FRESH LONG ISLAND DUCK!!! THIS ONE IS FROM NANTUCKET!!! I ORDERED A FRESH LONG ISLAND DUCK"!!! With a bewildered look on his face, the Meat Manager apologized and went back into the cooler to retrieve another fresh Long Island duck.
After a few minutes he brought another one out and handed it to the lady. Same thing. Again, she inserted her finger into the 2nd ducks "behind" and he could immediately see the dissatisfaction in her eyes/on her face. "THIS IS NOT A FRESH LONG ISLAND DUCK!!! THIS ONE IS FROM CANADA. I ORDERED A FRESH LONG ISLAND DUCK"!!! She was not happy.
With that, the Meat Manager again apologized and went back to retrieve another Long Island Duck. He brought a 3rd duck out all the while shuddering at the thought of her not being happy again.
Same routine. The lady again inserts her finger and after a second or 3 a huge smile came to her face. She responded with a big grin and a sincere "Thank You" and apologized for the way she acted.
A conversation then started up between them about her family coming in from different parts of the United States. Her daughter and family flying in from Texas. Her twin sister flying in from from the west coast. Her son and daughter-in- law and grandkids coming in from, etc, etc, etc.
She asked him if he was having family over. He replied "no" and that his family, including extended family didn't live in the country. She then asked him Where he's from?
With that and a grin on his face he jumped up onto the meat case, turned around, dropped his pants, bent over and said "I DON'T KNOW LADY, YOU TELL ME"!!!
A young man went off to college to become an engineer and begin his future. Upon arriving at the campus he met a beautiful and intelligent young lady. They spent their entire time at college getting to know each other and nurturing their relationship. By the time they graduated, they felt it was time that they wed and build a life and family together.
The young man had only dated a few girls in high school and getting married was certainly a huge step and a lifetime commitment larger than anything he had ever contemplated before. As such he thought about who it would be that could best advise him concerning this life altering decision. His decision seemed quite obvious. His grandpa was in his eighties and had been married to his grandma for well over fifty years. So who better to turn to in terms of advising him about marriage?
So he went to see his grandpa. He asked his grandpa what he thought about him getting married and what advice he had for him at this crossroads in his life. To which his grandpa replied....
"Grandson, nobody can tell you what you should do in regards to getting married. Only you and her know your relationship, how in love you are and how dedicated to each other the two of you are. That's a decision everyone has to make in their life based on their relationship with each other."
His grandpa went on to say..... "The only thing I feel it wise to advise you of is the reality of being married. I call it, 'The three rings of marriage'. Each being a phase of marriage that every man must go through.
First there is 'the engagement ring'. It's the phase of marriage that lasts while love is new and fresh. This is a time when you have the entire world in front of you. You feel every opportunity can be a reality and your eyes are open and optimistic.
The second ring is 'the wedding ring'. It's that time when plans are being made. It's the time that you plan a family, investing in property and building the foundation for your future. A time of unity and working together in conjunction with each other towards a common goal. This ring can last for quite some time."
"Then?", says the grandpa. Reality sets in and you realize many of those little things about your wife that gets on your nerves. That some of those dreams the two of you planned will never come true. Those wonderful children you planned to have, aren't quite 'so wonderful'. The nagging begins and she starts sounding like the Wicked Witch of the West. It's the phase your grandma and I have been in for over forty years now. It's the third and final ring known as 'the suffering'."
Intoducing for The Cleveland Browns, Quarterback Deshawn "The Predator" Watson. He will also be the one to choose your next head coach.
Micah 6:8; He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.
John 14:19 Jesus said: Because I live, you also will live.
You have no idea how challenging/difficult this type of performance is.
In the past 4 years, I've played the orchestral sound tracks to West Side Story, Star Wars: ep. 4, Harry Potter/Sorcerer's Stone and Jurassic Park, ep 1.
Everything is played on a click track. The music moves both faster and slower, in accordance to the action on-screen. Stuff that the audience never knows a thing about. We have to play in time to the action on the screen, and NONE of it is as natural and organic as it seems to the audience.
I want to see our crew tackle all those Carl Stallings charts from those WB cartoons of the 40's, 50's & 60's. Throw in a little work by Hoyt Curtin on Jonny Quest, Flintstones, etc... the stuff is challenging and rewarding to play.
I have the utmost respect for all those studio musicians who provided the soundtracks to those cartoons that we all grew up with. Insane skills, yo.
Micah 6:8; He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.
John 14:19 Jesus said: Because I live, you also will live.
Actually I didn't get it at first either then I saw your post so I scrolled back up and it just hit me.
Same. Kinda weird how the brain works. I looked at it yesterday and my eyes glossed over. Looked at it today, and heard the song playing in my head as I was "reading it" before I figured it out.
There is no level of sucking we haven't seen; in fact, I'm pretty sure we hold the patents on a few levels of sucking NOBODY had seen until the past few years.
Back in my HS days, there was such a thing as telephone books. In our local book was a name that never failed to elicit a chortle in response. That name:
Haha. That's a throwback bro... I remember a couple occasions looking through the phone book with friends to find some crazy names. We probably called them to ask them if their refrigerator was running.
Then this popped into my head - think it was once a skit on SNL or something.
"This message brought to you by the law firm Dewey, Cheatham & Howe". Good stuff lol.
Haha. That's a throwback bro... I remember a couple occasions looking through the phone book with friends to find some crazy names. We probably called them to ask them if their refrigerator was running.
Then this popped into my head - think it was once a skit on SNL or something.
This made me laugh. Understand, I have 2 older brothers, 5 years older, and 6 years older. Rotary dial phone back then. Every home got a little orange sticker with the police phone number on it, to put on the phone. No '911' back then, at least here.
I watched them call random numbers and do the same thing you said. Later, I decided to do it also. Problem was, at age 5 or 6, or 7, I didn't know any numbers. So, I called the only number I could see - the police number. Luckily, it was in the early/mid 70's - no way to track a number.
Back in my HS days, there was such a thing as telephone books. In our local book was a name that never failed to elicit a chortle in response. That name:
Harry Dangler
There really was a urologist in Toledo named Richard Tapper.
And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul. - John Muir
![[Linked Image from i28.photobucket.com]](http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c201/shadedog/mcenroe2.jpg)
