DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Tailgate Forum Color Commentator Cliches

Anyone who is a fan of sports, die hard or casual, realizes that there is a soundscape to the game regardless of sport. Football sounds different than baseball sounds different than basketball sounds different than hockey sounds different than soccer, etc. There exists one sound that is constant in all of these sports: the people who are paid to describe to us what we are already seeing. These dolts are my focus tonight.

Since I started this mess, it's only appropriate that I start it off with two of my own favorite examples.

1. "The defense is going to really pin their ears back , and go after the offense..."

[Game clock]: 6... 5... 4...
[Defensive player]: " Oh man! We got these boys back on their heels... lemme get up under this helmet with these clothespins... " WTF is that phrase even supposed to mean? How did anything this stupid ever become a cliche? Or is there some real life application that makes this weird comment relevant? I have never understood this one...

2. "A spectacular play by the wide receiver! He fought off double coverage, and went up to take that ball at its highest point..."
No, he didn't. If anything, that wide receiver went up, and caught that ball at one of its lowest possible trajectory points . Logic (and geometry) dictates that the highest point of every pass is the midpoint of its trajectory. In fact, there is only one lower trajectory point than the QB's launchpoint and the WR's catchpoint.. the ground, if the ball falls incomplete.

So why do we accept such stupid (and misleading) cliches from announcers that insult our intelligence?


This is the place that you can use to post your own personal pet peeves about the dumb chit that announcers say.

This could be fun. I can't wait to hear which other ones bug the mess out of you.

When an animal is attacking they lay their ears back against their head. So they dont get bit in the ear if there is a fight. Thats what pin their ears back means. Its animal body language that says I'm mad and I'm coming for you.

Thank you. I guess the word 'pin' just threw me completely off...

Now, if you can explain "at its highest point" , you will become the queen of cliche ownership.

And we will all kneel at your feet.

Sorry I dont know that means, so someone else will have to earn the title lol.

A few that irk me in regards to the Browns:

- When analysts make comments like “the snowy, whipping air of Lake Erie in the winter” as if we play SO many games in a blizzard. We see, what? Maybe one snow game every five years? The cliche that we should draft/sign guys who can play “winter” or “AFC north” ball is so overstated IMO.

- When analysts talk about the “raucous Dawg Pound” and how crazy it is for the opposition. That dates our fan base by 30+ years. We don’t have much of a home field advantage any more.

- The references to our storied past. It has no bearing on the current year … in fact, most fans don’t even know about our “storied” past, let alone had been alive during those times.

- IT’S THIIIIIRRRD DOOOWWWNNN … so freaking lame.

"Smashmouth football" is still used and wore out it's welcome 25yrs ago.

In hockey, commentators always say the teams skated to a 2-2 tie. They never say skate to a win, or skate to a loss. They only skate to a tie.

I have played a lot of hockey when younger and watch a lot of hockey. I have never seen it done by any other method but skating.

* "That Johnny Doe? That's a football player right there."
(Oh, I was wondering about the helmet and shoulder pads ... that explains it.)

* "This kid is really something."
(Yes, literally everything is really something. That cup with coffee in it for example; that's a coffee cup. See how that works?)

* "It is what it is."
(Please, just stop. This is not insightful, or deep, and it sure as hell is not original.)

But sometimes it is what it is. Many times people want more insight when there is no more to give.

'That was one heck of a golf shot"...well, no kidding, they are playing golf.

A couple other announcer catch-phrases that I think are overused:

* The RB who "gets stronger as the game goes on". I think its more about the attrition a good running attack causes on a defensive line. That said, I do think there are times when a good RB gets into a rhythm (although that might be a hackneyed phrase its ownself). But I've watched Nick Chubb at times and could just tell he was feeling it and might bust one at any time. I'm not sure Stefanski understands this, based on the timing of of his subbing in Kareem or D'Ernest sometimes when Chubb is running well. You can almost see the "WTF?" thought bubble above Nick's head as he leaves the field or stands on the sideline.

* QBs "throwing receivers open" ... I don't think its nearly as common as its represented. Plus, I think its another way of describing arm talent, like some of the throws Aaron Rodgers makes with a flick of his wrist. Its about tight window throws that require uncanny accuracy and supreme confidence, like the laser on the back shoulder of a well-covered WR or when a QB drops one down a well on a fade pattern.

The player just willed his team to victory. Sorry, no amount of want to or "will" does it, without the right teammates & circumstances. Sort of implies the losing team didn't "will" enough.

Another one similar "They were not going to be denied".

He has a Howitzer for a right arm.

"The officials won't make that call at the end of the game".

That's a good no-call, when, by definition, it is a foul in BB or a penalty in FB.

"The best defense is a good offense."

I think we've seen, especially this year, that some of the best defensive performances take place when the offense is atrocious. I think the quote only holds true if each side of the ball is at least holding up its end in some sort of acceptable fashion.

I don't know, maybe I'm reading it wrong.

You just made me miss "Dandy Don" Meredith even more when I though that was not possible. He was not in the mold of other sportscasters and I haven't seen anything like him since.

I remember the time the camera showed a solitary fan of the losing team staying to the bitter end, and the guy flipped the bird at them. Don said something like "Well he still thinks they're #1, Howard.". Cosell lost it, IIRC.

Then there was this doozy....


Man do I miss listening to him in the booth.

Can we still kneel at your feet? That was quite an explanation. LOL

Yes, I welcome all kneeling lol

See?
I'm never wrong.

Yeah, you called it!

One that has annoyed me for years and I heard it during a college game this weekend: a spectacular play is made, and the play-by-play man goes “ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!”

I’m like, “no, you are not being kidded. It really happened”

So, this fits, but you have to watch. There is this event often on called the "strongman champions league" now.

These strongest men in the world, by competitions, do things from some foreign land where they lift things measured in "stones" and "kilograms" (this one was, strongman champions league Germany, 2015.) Now, there are a regular group of contestants, and
they pull semi trucks with a rope and harness 100 feet and are timed.
They've pulled in boats at the harbor. They have held giant tree trunks from falling outward by each hand holding a rope.

That's not the thing. the thing is, that after, after these huge, beastly men, about end themselves with these gigantic feats of strength, and they come in, 2nd or 3rd, or even 1st place, that, immediately following, while they are still heavy breathing, they are interviewed.

Now, the thing is, there is a (German looking man,) with slicked back hair, he's fine, and there is this
Tiny blonde, assertive, (german looking yet generally attractive) other announcer, lady, who is probably the wife of the first,
But!

But! These Gargantuan almost gorilla type men, will lift something like 700 pounds above their head with one hand, and do it about 5 times but not 6, and come in whatever place,
and the thing is,
Immediately following, this (tiny blonde, assertive,) microphone holding lady, will shove a microphone in these men's faces and
as though
as though they had just spilled red wine all over her entire front rooms worth of white carpeted flooring

She will jam this microphone in their face and with such emotion and conviction it's almost to scream at them and she'll say
" What Happened!" and I Crack up laughing

Now, it doesn't happen every event of every episode of "Strongmans' champions league" , but, it does happen enough,
and when it does, I find it Hil-ar-ious.

"High pointing the football" literally means that the player properly timed his jump and got high enough to catch it. It might be the highest he can jump, but it's NEVER the highest point of the football... based on the laws of physics, that's impossible. But he "high pointed the ball" sounds so much more technically impressive than he "jumped"...

Herbstreet says it all the time and just once I would love for the announcer to ask him, "What does that even mean?" but none of them ever will..

Eve can retain the title, since "high point" literally means nothing.

Lol. Which leads to cliche within cliche... I love when a new "term" gets hot and every commentator insists on overusing it. Especially the ones that seem to think they need to telestrate and explain it over and over. Like, if you belabor it enough, Tony, I'll actually start to believe that you invented "setting the edge".

it's nails on a chalkboard to me when they use the word "clock" as a verb. As in spiking the ball to stop the clock. I dunno why.

That is a noun.

I think you mean, they are rushing to the line to clock the ball.