Lauren Boebert withstood the pressure to change her vote on the Epstein Files, so now Mike Johnson is less likely to get into Heaven than a woman who gave a handjob in a theater.
Andy Borowitz
Intoducing for The Cleveland Browns, Quarterback Deshawn "The Predator" Watson. He will also be the one to choose your next head coach.
Trump didn't win the Nobel Prize, but after Putin looked over Trump's "peace proposal" on Ukraine which was a list of Putin's every wish, he did name trump the Russian employee of the month.
Intoducing for The Cleveland Browns, Quarterback Deshawn "The Predator" Watson. He will also be the one to choose your next head coach.
