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WASHINGTON—In what is being hailed as a landmark deal, on Saturday the Islamic Republic of Iran agreed to cease all hostilities with the US in exchange for never having to talk to Vice President JD Vance again.

Under terms of the agreement, Vance must remain out of the Iranians’ earshot for a minimum of 30 years, with his exact location subject to periodic inspections.

“All the bombs we dropped on those crazy bastards couldn’t do what the sound of JD’s voice did,” Donald J. Trump said. “I’m thinking of sending him to Cuba next.”

The agreement drew strong praise from a range of Washington insiders, including Second Lady Usha Vance, who asked, “How do I get that deal?”

Andy Borowitz


Intoducing for The Cleveland Browns, Quarterback Deshawn "The Predator" Watson. He will also be the one to choose your next head coach.

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After reading the Trump administration's memorandum of understanding with Iran today Greenland called asking if Trump would attack them so they could get a similar deal.


Intoducing for The Cleveland Browns, Quarterback Deshawn "The Predator" Watson. He will also be the one to choose your next head coach.

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[/social]


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It is always inconvenient to recognize that Al Gore was correct... That move has been fairly accurate.


Welcome back, Joe, we missed you!…. That did not age well.
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Right about what?

Dude spewed more nonsense and rhetoric about systemic climate collapse than a sci-writer could even conceive. And every one of his "apocalypse deadlines" have come and gone without him even being close to accurate.


HERE WE GO BROWNIES! HERE WE GO!!
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Here, you want a joke-

https://www.the-independent.com/new...pool-paint-algae-vandalism-b2999618.html

Trump now blaming ‘vandalism’ for the problems at the Reflecting Pool and says police are investigating
‘They've also done everything possible to hurt the inside surface that was just installed,’ Trump said

Brendan Rascius in New York
Saturday 20 June 2026 10:10 EDT




Paint is peeling from Reflecting Pool days after Trump's $14m 'renovation'
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The Reflecting Pool has had a rough week. Just after a $14 million refurbishment, the water turned green from algae, and chunks of blue material were seen peeling off the bottom.

Now, President Donald Trump is chalking up the problems to “vandalism.”

“We’ve cleaned, renovated, and beautified over 45 Monuments and Memorials, 28 Statues, and 22 Fountains in Washington, D.C.,” the president wrote on Truth Social Friday evening. “However, we’ve had some real problems with Vandalism at the beautiful Reflecting Pool.”

He claimed that unnamed individuals have “done everything possible to hurt the inside surface that was just installed” in an attempt to “destroy and demean our beautiful work.”


The 80-year-old Republican then singled out Jonathan Karl, an ABC News reporter, who he said “was seen sticking his hand into the Pool, and trying to rip the rubber off of the surface.” In a broadcast segment on Friday, Karl reached into the shallow pool and grabbed a chunk of floating material.


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President Donald Trump blamed ‘vandalism’ for recent problems at the Reflecting Pool. His team has spent $14 million to refurbish the pool - but it hasn’t gone to plan
open image in gallery
President Donald Trump blamed ‘vandalism’ for recent problems at the Reflecting Pool. His team has spent $14 million to refurbish the pool - but it hasn’t gone to plan (Reuters)
Trump said that law enforcement is “actively investigating.” He added: “It’s a shame that the Radical Left Lunatics, most likely Dumocats, who have spent their lives trying to ruin our Country, are free to do so.”

Still, the president said the algae is mostly gone and that the damaged surface will be fixed in the coming days.

The pool, located in front of the Lincoln Memorial, recently underwent a weekslong renovation after Trump derided it as "filthy" and in desperate need of repair. Last month, workers drained the 2,000-foot-long basin and resurfaced it with "American flag blue" paint.

Trump said it would cost about $2 million, but federal records indicate the actual price tag was over $14 million.




The pool has had more algae in it than at any recorded point in the month of June for at least five years, according to an analysis from The Washington Post.

The pool has had more algae in it than at any recorded point in the month of June for at least five years, according to a recent analysis
open image in gallery
The pool has had more algae in it than at any recorded point in the month of June for at least five years, according to a recent analysis (Getty)
Sections of blue sealant have been seen peeling off the bottom and floating up to the surface
open image in gallery
Sections of blue sealant have been seen peeling off the bottom and floating up to the surface (Reuters)
In response, workers clad in neon vests were seen wading into the pool this week to gather algae, while others dumped hydrogen peroxide into the water to kill it. A spokesperson for the Interior Department previously told The Independent that the chemical was a “milder treatment than chlorine,” which has “no harmful side effects to marine life or to the environment.”

They added that the department is also deploying nanobubble ozone technology to blitz the algae.

“This technology is actively killing algae, pathogens (e.g., E. coli), and contaminants that have long plagued the Reflecting Pool since 1922, most infamously, the Obama pool reopening that resulted in massive algae clumps taking over the pool’s surface following years of construction that cost,” the spokesperson said.

On Friday, The New York Times reported that the administration had awarded a $1.7 million no-bid contract to an Ohio company to install a water purification system at the pool. The firm, which had only ever received one other federal contract, is owned by a longtime Trump donor, who owns property next to the president’s Mar-a-Lago estate.

In addition to the algae, which turned the once-crystal-clear water into a swampy green, parts of the pool's new surface coating have also begun to peel off.

The hydrogen peroxide used to pulverize algae may be the culprit, according to CNN. The outlet, which used a swimming pool store to test the water, reported that the bleach raised phosphate levels in the pool “far higher than what is recommended to keep algae at bay.”

The administration has labeled cleaning up the pool a "regional and national priority" ahead of July 4, the 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.

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Being wrong about the timeline doesn't mean he was wrong about everything else.


Intoducing for The Cleveland Browns, Quarterback Deshawn "The Predator" Watson. He will also be the one to choose your next head coach.

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DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Palus Politicus Poltical Jokes Part 5

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